Perceived Flaws and Self-Acceptance

Male construction industry professional headshot with short dark brown hair, wearing charcoal grey suit jacket over light blue dress shirt, photographed on seamless white background by Lancaster Pennsylvania headshot photographer Richard Waine

My headshot photography studio is in Lancaster, PA, home of the Amish. I know it sounds like a terrible business model, or some sort of joke, a portrait photographer in an area where they don’t have their pictures taken. Regardless of how incongruous it sounds, I do a fair amount of business.

Recently, I had the opportunity to shoot headshots for a construction company. They aren’t the typical construction firm though. They literally build barns and sheds.

Most, if not all of the leadership for this firm are former Amish. They had never had a photo taken of themselves until they left their old way of life. In fact, the President of the company even remarked that they don’t have any photos of their childhood.

One might think that coaching and directing them would be easy. There are no bad habits to unlearn. Suffice it to say, coaching them proved to be a challenge, but at least I didn’t have to deal with any self-acceptance issues. These folks were just happy to be who they are.

Professional Headshots Build Confidence

Most of them had at least one lazy eye. Others had heavy lids, or scars on their faces. Yet, they didn’t lend it any thought. They didn’t seem to think or even care about how others view them. They were certainly aware that they had eye differences and scars, but they are rolling with whatever they are blessed with. How cool is that? Despite knowing about these things, they just went about their daily lives. It is highly probable that they were raised to care less about their appearance and more about their family, and community.

Was it an ignorance is bliss kind of thing? In truth, it could very well be that they acknowledge these things, and are inwardly concerned about them. However, I spent a bit of time with each person. None of them gave me any indication that they even cared about a lazy eye, or facial scarring, or any other physical feature.

This experience highlighted something powerful about professional headshot photography. When someone sits for a headshot session, they often arrive carrying years of self-doubt about their appearance. They see themselves in the finished images and realize their perceived flaws are often invisible to others, or part of what makes them compelling.

Self-Acceptance in a Professional Headshot

Male construction industry professional headshot with dark brown hair short on sides, wearing black sport coat over brown white and orange plaid button-down shirt, photographed on seamless white background by Lancaster Pennsylvania photographer Richard Waine, former Amish business professional portrait

Recently, an Instagram “troll” made a comment on a headshot, saying that the image reminded him of being hungover every day. I looked at the image, and inwardly questioned whether they were referring to the eye difference.

How can one human being poke fun at another person for something outside of their control? And why did they feel it was necessary to make such a comment? Clearly it was self serving. But, what matters most is that the subject of that headshot has accepted whatever might have been considered a perceived flaw.

As a headshot photographer, I recognize that I have the power to change how a person feels about themselves. This was never more apparent to me than it is today, especially in light of this recent experience. It is very powerful. It is difficult to believe, but I can change how someone thinks about themselves and how they view themselves by coaching and directing them into an incredible image.

Unrealistic Standards of Beauty

Society has jaded us! We have become hyper-critical of our appearance. Advertisements would have us believe that true beauty is being rail thin, or having perfectly straight hair, or some other unrealistic standard. These impossible benchmarks fuel self-criticism that affects how we present ourselves professionally and personally.

Social media compounds this problem by showing us filtered, edited versions of reality. A professional headshot does the opposite. It shows you as you actually are, at your best. The lighting, coaching, and expertise reveal the confident person you already are, without the filters and edits that create those unrealistic standards.

We degrade ourselves and kill ourselves over not measuring up. We obsess over everything, from diet, to hitting the gym like maniacs, and we sometimes even seek surgical solutions.

The reality is that everyone is beautiful, everyone is interesting and unique, and everyone will have a tendency to critique themselves, thinking that society will embrace them differently if only they could change something about their appearance.

How a Headshot Helps With Appearance Concerns

Male construction industry professional headshot with short dark brown hair shaved on sides, wearing tan beige sport coat over blue white and orange plaid button-down shirt, photographed on seamless white background by Lancaster Pennsylvania photographer Richard Waine, former Amish business executive portrait

Had my client expressed concern about his lazy eye and heavy lids, I would have taken him through my approach on owning his looks, because he doesn’t have much of a choice. Our parents blessed us with certain physical characteristics, and we have to wake up each day and own them.

A professional headshot helps people move past these concerns. The process involves expert coaching on facial expressions, professional lighting that flatters, and a comfortable setting where clients can be themselves.

Therapeutic Benefits of Headshot Sessions

Sometimes it takes a reminder, this kind of reminder, to make photographers see that we aren’t just making images for professionals because they need to do business. Maybe what we do is more therapeutic than that. Maybe it’s all encompassing. Maybe people come in with the idea of getting their stale headshot refreshed or making an image for branding purposes, but come away learning something and appreciating themselves more than ever before.

The headshot session becomes a journey of self-discovery. Clients often tell me I provide an easy, fun experience. That the process is professional, that they receive a transformative experience, and that the images look way better than expected. This transformation goes beyond the photograph itself.

If that is the effect I have on my clients, then I have done something right!

This experience reminded me of a TedX talk that Peter Hurley and Anna Rowley gave about bridging the self-acceptance gap. The first time I had seen this video, I was with Peter in the back of a New York City Taxi, watching it on Peter’s cell phone before its official release. I was deeply moved then. I’m deeply moved today.


Ready to discover how a professional headshot can transform how you see yourself? Every person has qualities that make them compelling. A professional headshot session reveals those qualities while helping you feel comfortable and authentic. Schedule a consultation to discuss how we can create headshots that show you at your absolute best.